Hopefully Time Will Heal

Part of the problem with the excitement of having your first little bundle of joy is the problem of not being able to keep it in. You want to tell everyone the minute you find out. You wait a few weeks, you have a couple doctor's appointments that go really well and you explode with the joy of telling people your first baby is on the way. You never ever dream that you will then be telling those same people that you've lost your baby. Praying they understand, hoping they don't blame you, worrying about how family and friends will take the news. Most of all you worry about how you will find the strength to tell them. Rather than having several awkward moments weeks down the road as people ask "how's the baby" I know I have to do this. All the strength I have right now is to tell you all that Justin and I have an angel in heaven now. We went in on Wednesday Oct 19th. Our baby would have been exactly 11 weeks on that day if it had continued to grow. We ask for prayers to heal and get through this difficult time. I'm confident that we'll heal and try for another baby one day but I don't think that will ever take away the pain of this moment.

Pregnancy Meltdowns - Wine and Hamburger Buns

If you’ve been pregnant, known someone who was pregnant, or have seen a movie or two with a pregnant woman in it, you are well aware of a magical thing called pregnancy hormones. All of the girls out there can relate on some occasion due to hormones that are also naturally occurring at that special time of the month. So take the way you feel when Aunt Flo is about to visit and multiply that by oh let’s be conservative and say…. One thousand. I experienced my first real hormonal breakdown just last weekend. Two of them actually, we’ll call these wine and hamburger buns.

Saturday, what started out as a beautiful day soon got ugly. I was seemingly normal, I got up went to work out with my friend Billi, cleaned the house a bit, and did some shopping. I’d signed up for a 5k prior to getting pregnant called Wine at the Line. I was super excited about it because it was at my favorite winery and I thought what better way to end a run but with a glass of wine! Well then I got pregnant and I’m pretty sure Jellybean is not a huge fan of wine yet nor would he/she be happy with me if I indulged in a glass. So I knew that I wouldn’t be enjoying any wine at the finish line but I was still excited. I’d plan to run with a friend but she couldn’t attend so I asked my Dad and my hubby. Neither of them could run it with me. Ok fine, not a big deal right? So Justin and I drove out there to at least pick up my shirt since I’d already paid for my registration. Did I mention what a gorgeous day it was? Oh yeah so we walk over to the tent and I see bananas…and start to get sad. I don’t know what it was about those bananas that really set it all in to motion. I pick up my shirt pouting the entire time. I say to Justin “look there’s even snacks” with a pathetic look on my face. I pout all the way back to the car, upset that suddenly I “have no friends” which is the assumption I make because no one wants to run with me. (Yes a mild over reaction). So as we pull out of the winery the water works flow. I’m seriously embarrassed by this so I put my sunglasses on so Justin won’t notice. I’m not even sure why I’m crying at this point. Justin being the good husband that he is, asks “what’s wrong hunny”. Clearly I’m not stable as I suck wind and sniffle as I sob. I think it went something like this:

“I just wanted to run…nobody wanted to run with me…I hate being pregnant….it’s not fair….I don’t get to do ANYTHING….no running ….no WINE…..I don’t get to do ANYTHING….this sucks….I can’t even have soft serve icecream…..I feel fat…..my face is ugly….I thought you got pretty hair when you were pregnant….(insert uncontrollable tears now) …..I DIDN’T EVEN GET THE PRETTY HAIR!”

At this point my poor unsuspecting husband starts laughing! So I cry harder because he’s laughing at me! Eventually I too saw the humor in it but geesh I thought those tears were going to go on forever. Really, I don’t hate being pregnant. Yes sometimes it feels like you are limited when there are all these rules about what you can't do, what you can't eat or drink, how you are supposed to sleep, or workout, etc but it will all be worth it in the long run. I’m sure of it.

So the very next day we run into a very similar scenario. I ask Justin to grab hamburger buns while he's out. When he returns with no hamburger buns I get upset because darn it I wanted to put pickles on my barbecue chicken sandwich! He really thinks this is not a big deal. I did mention we had no buns and we could eat the chicken on a plate with a fork. Here's the thing...when you start thinking about something while pregnant you just don't let it go. So this idea of pickles on a BUN with chicken was just not going to go away. Of course I cried and my wonderful husband went back out and bought buns. This one really confirmed my nuttiness. By the way, that sandwich was delicious.

The question of the hour “how are you feeling?”

This is usually the first question I get after we tell people. Well the good news is I feel GREAT! Ok maybe not great ALL of the time but the first couple weeks I felt better than ever. Recently, I have more symptoms. I get tired just standing to do dishes at times, I get waves of nausea mixed with periods of insane hunger, I have a headache here and there from the lack of caffeine my normal high strung body is used to, and I cry at odd moments like oh I don’t know, a Chevy commercial. Really though that commercial is a sad one so don’t judge. It’s the one with the guy who has the little old white truck he wants fixed and he has a picture of himself and his Grandpa standing in front of it so he’s willing to pay any amount of money to get it fixed. Tear jerker, No? Other than the random emotional roller coaster and the urge to puke daily or eat chicken nuggets dipped in nacho cheese (yes that was a craving and I totally stopped myself!) I feel almost normal. Some days I think, is there really a tiny person in there with a heart, fingers, toes, a brain and spinal cord? It just seems nuts because I look so normal on the outside! But as the pee sticks will show, yes I’m still pregnant. Every once in awhile I take another test just to make sure.

Changing Doctors

It may sound silly of me but I changed my doctor because I felt she was a little too “old school” for my taste. I like her, I do but I just don’t agree with some of her recommendations. The things that bothered me really were trivial, such as the fact that she said flat out NO running, after I had researched exercising while pregnant and read a crap ton of books already on the subject. There were guidelines passed in 1985 by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) that stated a pregnant woman should not exceed a maximum heart rate of 140bpm. That was later revised in 1994 along with other guidelines that offered a little more flexibility in pregnancy. No one woman’s body is the same and the ACOG realized this which is what prompted the revised guidelines. Anyway, my other doctor was strictly following the 1985 guidelines rather than the 1994 revised version. She also told me no chiropractor but I’d read it was perfectly fine and actually helped ease some of the pains of pregnancy. I also talked to my chiropractor who is recommended by several OBs and he said it was completely safe. So I called around and found a doctor with a more modern approach to prenatal care. I’m glad I did because if I already disagreed with the other doctor at this point, who knows how I would have felt towards the end.

First Appointment

Our first appointment was Sept. 21st. Nothing too exciting happens in this appointment if you are healthy and don’t have any history of problems with pregnancy. You do the basic questionnaire, exam, blood work, etc. Justin came along for moral support although I think he was bored to tears. For him it still seems a little unreal. He doesn’t have the symptoms I have to let him know there is really something happening in there. Even though the OB appointment made it a little more real to me I don’t think either of us will really have it hit home until we hear Jellybean’s heartbeat. They agreed that my estimated due date was May 9th (but I knew this already because I’m a control freak). She said baby was measuring just right at 7 weeks during this visit. So May 9th it is! It will be a very very busy month for us!

Giving Family the news

So I’d finally told Justin after waiting for what seemed like hours for him to come home from work. After we had dinner I just had to tell my parents. If I waited even one more day I might go crazy and not be able to tell them the way I had planned. So we headed off to the store to buy the supplies. We picked up two “I love my Grandma” bibs (one for my mom and one for his) and a package of newborn diapers. As it turns out Greg, my dad has never ever changed a diaper so we were going to try to send him the message that diaper changes are coming in his future. We wrapped everything up, I put the test in my mom’s bag (yes the pee stick, but don’t worry the fancy ones have caps) and we headed over. I had a good cover story for stopping by unexpectedly at 9:00 at night. I’d made some cookies for my dad’s birthday and wanted to bring them over.

They open their gifts and the first thing my dad says is “are these diapers because I’m OLD?!” but he quickly realized that was not the case as my mom started shrieking “ARE YOU?!”. We got all of this on tape mind you and we still watch it and laugh our butts off. I say to my mom, well read the test! So again with the shrieking, “where are my glasses, where are my glasses” as if it would have said anything other than pregnant at that point. My mom really had no clue it was coming which is what made it so great.

Wednesday Oct 31st

Shortly after we told my parents we told Justin’s Mom and Stepdad. We asked them out to dinner and hid the gifts under the table so they wouldn’t suspect anything. They are big colts fans so for his stepdad we bought tiny little baby colts hats. We gave his mom one of the bibs that said “I love my Grandma” as well. They were pretty excited and Justin and Gary promptly started talking about building a dirt bike track out at their house. At this point baby was the size of a poppy seed so I don’t think they were getting ahead of themselves at all. I mean time flies you know, one second it’s a poppy seed, the next their borrowing your car keys.

Justin’s Dad and Stepmom

Things worked out pretty well since Justin’s dad was coming to visit the last weekend in August. We bought a little yellow onesie that said “Are these really my relatives?”. The funniest part was that when he opened it he thought it was an outfit for their little dog Sami. Then he realized that it had buttons where the dog’s butt would go. I said “you know what that means riiigggghhhttt??” I think a light bulb went on at that moment because his face lit up and he was super happy for us. We were sad that we couldn’t tell Cathy in person but he promised to call us the next day and give her the gift so we could hear her reaction when she opened it. She immediately teared up which we knew meant that she was really excited too!

Since this will be grandbaby #1 for Justin’s parents and grandbaby almost #1 for mine (I’ll explain in a moment) both families were pretty much ecstatic with the news. The exciting part of this being “almost grandbaby #1” for my family is that my brother and his wife are expecting a baby too! She is only 1 month ahead of us so there will be TWO babies in the family within a very short time frame.

Here comes baby!

It’s official, Justin and I are going from 2 to 3. Yep that’s right, currently I am growing a tiny little human. Crazy isn’t it? Before anyone asks that evil (and RUDE) question “Was it planned?” YES it was and we couldn’t be more excited. I’d always known I wanted to be married at least a year before bringing kids into the mix so our time couldn’t be more perfect. We celebrated our 1 year anniversary with positive pee sticks! Haha. Actually we found out shortly before our anniversary but it was quite the anniversary gift for both of us.



I was thinking a June baby would be just about perfect but God decided maybe May would be a better plan. I just hope he doesn’t let me go into labor during my final exams at school! So I need to catch you all up on the happenings of the last several weeks since we’ve been sitting on this for a little while. Almost all of our close friends and family know by now but we weren’t really ready to make it completely public until we were almost out of the worrisome first trimester. Also I waited a bit to tell my boss just so I knew everything looked good and healthy. Anything can happen in those delicate first few months so we wanted to keep it a secret for as long as we could stand it. For those of you who know how much I like to talk, that’s been SUPER tough for me. I just want to talk about babies non-stop. I want to look at cute baby clothes and daydream about baby nurseries! We've had two appointments so far and both went very well. I'm on track so far for a May 9th due date.



So here is how it went down :






“Pee Sticks” gross Justin out and he’d rather me call them pregnancy tests but I like to torment him (because I love him so dearly), so we will refer to them as Pee Sticks going forward.



August 28th Stick #1



Sunday morning, Moto GP weekend. I take a test and there is the faintest of lines in the test area. Not so faint that I had to peel the sucker apart, place it under a black light, or alter the image of the photo to see the line, but a LINE I can SEE. Me being me, I thought oh it’s so faint, I’m not going to get myself all excited just yet. I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon so I was still sort of in shock at this point. So off we go to the races, I never say a single word to Justin the entire day (it’s killing me).



August 29th Sticks #2-5 or more



If you’ve ever done this before you know that sometimes you can’t just stop at one. In disbelief you just keep buying sticks or using the stash of 30 (yep I stocked up) you have under the sink. Knowing that Justin would have no idea what 2 lines instead of one meant on my cheapie tests I went to get the REAL DEAL, the digital ones that say PREGNANT.











There’s really no mistaking that. There’s no shade of a line you have to decipher it just hits you right in the face. BAM, PREGNANT! Then you’re like holy crap I’m pregnant.



August 28th Roughly 6pm



So after I confirmed with the digital, I got my plan together to tell Justin. I’d been planning how to tell him from the moment we started trying. I wanted to make it really special. So I decided to re-create his proposal. I typed out a little message that said “Will you be my baby daddy”, because he giggles when I say baby daddy, and on the back I put “We’re due in May!”. I rolled it up like a ring and placed it in the box that my engagement ring came in.











I put it in the refrigerator…..quick refresher for those of you who’ve forgotten the proposal story….Justin has romantic idea to put ring on candle in hot tub. Ring sinks. Justin panics. Justin puts ring in refrigerator. Justin asks me to get him a beer…… that’s how it happened. Anyway, I strategically place the ring in FULL view in the refrigerator. Who misses it? He does. Already chock-full of pregnancy hormones I’m not really sure whether to be upset or angry. So I take the box to him and let him open it. When he reads it all that can come out of his mouth is “Are you serious?!” “Is this for real?” “Am I being punked?”. So I show him the digital test, the obvious test. I’m still wondering to this day if he believes me haha.

A Trip Down Memory Lane: Our 1 Year Anniversary

It’s hard to believe that just over a year ago Justin and I were preparing for one of the biggest days of our lives. Our wedding day! I remember it like it was yesterday! Sometimes it’s so hard to believe an entire year has passed us by so quickly and other days I feel like I’ve known him my whole life (in a good way *wink*) I’d like to take a little trip down memory lane and reminisce about that crazy wonderful time….

The day before the wedding was insane! No scratch that, the MONTH before the wedding was insane. We had so much fun when we first started planning. The toughest part was the budget but once all of those issues are out in the open and everyone is fully aware of how darn expensive a wedding is it’s not so bad as long as you stick to it. Men don’t really get this at first….it’s quite a struggle for them to understand why we’d want to spend x amount of dollars on a dress we will only wear one time. If you’ve planned a wedding, been involved in the planning, are planning one, or have been a parent coughing over the dough, you fully understand the “that cost’s WHAT?!” concept but you also know it’s all worth it to make the day as special as it can possibly be.

That said, we had so much fun picking out colors, my dress, the cake (our favorite part by far), the location, etc. When we got to that last month, when everything was coming together but so much STILL needed to be done, we had some “holy crap how is this ever going to come together” moments. I’d say the last month for most brides is the point where you are really just ready to get your butt on the beach for the honeymoon and stop stressing over all the details like place cards! I’m sure my family remembers me frantically filling out place cards and throwing together a seating chart the night before, especially my poor mom who had to FINISH the place cards in the morning. Haha.

The girls and I got barely a wink of sleep the night before the big day. A huge thanks goes out to Billi (the most awesome Maid of Honor a girl could ask for), Carly, Charissa, and Hannah for staying up all night with me trying to make sure everything was perfect. Little did I know that my soon to be husband also did not sleep as I made the mistake of letting his boys celebrate his Bachelor status one last time before the wedding. *Note: if you aren’t married yet, DO NOT let your man celebrate his bachelor party the night before the wedding. Odds are you will have a red eyed, hungover, trying not to puke, groom. Honestly I can’t be mad at him, I think it’s hilarious. I mean this is a boy who never gets crazy and he chooses to do so the night before one of the most important days in our lives. Here’s one of my fave photos that pretty much sums up how J-dawg was feeling:



He’s trying to catch a little shut eye moments before the ceremony…..little to my knowledge. See I wouldn’t know any of these things until AFTER I married him. His plan? Perhaps.


Here are a few highlights:

Things that make you laugh but at the time you wish you could have changed……

I nearly sprinted down the aisle. Seriously. I watched the video people, so don’t tell me this didn’t happen. Clearly I was SUPER excited but no one slowed me down. Greg and Zack were probably unaware that they needed to bring their jogging shoes.

Awkward Moments- When we toasted each other I’m pretty sure we thanked each other for being there. Also, the toast itself was awkward because we had NO idea what we were doing and no one really directed us.

Good food- Those little pigs in a blanket appetizers were quite the hit! I’m pretty sure we could have JUST served those and most of our guests would have been thrilled.

Things that ticked me off and nearly brought out bridezilla:

The DJ couldn’t seem to keep a working mic on the floor. I think Josh turned his mic off and back on about a zillion times.

Things I loved:

Everything else! Really, the flowers were better than I could have imagined, the cake (still delicious to this day!) was amazing, the pictures were awesome, and having our family and friends in one place at the same time was great!
So now that a year has passed, what’s changed?

Well as I was telling my friend the other day, don’t believe all that stuff they say about everything ends when you get married. Yes there are some things that don’t happen quite as frequently because let’s face it, flowers are expensive and by golly we are sharing money now! For me everything is 100 times better than it was before I was married. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, spending my life with someone I love more than anything, and I know that he is always there for me. There’s a kind of peace that I have now that I never had before, a sense of comfort and “completeness” as corny as that sounds! So if any of you all placed bets….you’d better pay up! We’re in it for the long haul and plan for many more exciting times in the future.

Zacky Boy is Coming Home!

I am so excited that my brother will FINALLY be close to us again. I still remember the day he left for boot camp like it was yesterday. I was working when he came by to say good-bye before he left for Kentucky. It was all I could do not to cry my eyes out right there in front of my customers. Zack joining the Army was a bit of a shock for all of us. I don’t know if I ever really stopped to consider what exactly he would do after school but never did I imagine he’d want to go into the military. Now looking back I think it’s a good fit for him. It has sort of forced him into maturity in a way. Zack will always be a kid inside with his fast shiny toys. I don’t think he will ever grow out of that, the military did help him to mature and grow in other ways though and I think that shows.

It was tough the first time he went to Iraq, I felt something unlike anything I’d ever really experienced. I felt proud and terrified all at the same time. Proud that my little brother was putting his life on the line to fight for our country and terrified for the same reasons. Calls from him were always welcomed and exciting while he was in Iraq. I also enjoyed the pictures of him “playing” on the machines they worked on. When he came back it was so exciting to see him after so long! We made the long drive to Texas to see him return and it was well worth it! Unfortunately I didn’t get to welcome him home after his second tour but I got to visit shortly after in Virginia Beach.








So he’s been all over the place for the last 6 or so years. After boot camp he lived 10+ hours away. First at Ft. Hood Texas and then to Ft. Story Virginia Beach, both of which were one heck of a drive. The long distance made it hard to see him every holiday or to go visit very often. But……..now he’s going to be in the very same state for the first time since he joined the Army!!

I am so very excited that he will be a short 2.5 hours away! That’s just a hop skip and jump compared to Texas or Virginia! I’ve missed my little brother and I couldn’t be happier to have him practically right down the road now. I’m looking forward to seeing him on holidays and hopefully when that special day comes for J-dawg and I to make little ones, Uncle Zack can be there to watch them grow up! This assignment is pretty much the best thing we could have asked for, no more tours to Iraq or Afghanistan, which is where he was headed if it weren’t for this recruiting gig! At least for awhile anyway! We are so blessed that God has kept him safe while away and that he can finally be home again.

State Fair

We actually had a chance to go to the fair this weekend! You're just not a Hoosier if you don't get to the State Fair to check out the array of heart stopping fried treats, hillbilly festivities, giant boar's, and stables filled with more smelly wonderful animals. Actually, I love seeing the animals at the Fair, although I may need to reconsider the whole flip flop thing next time I go into the barns. My favorite animals are the baby piggies they are just too darn cute. I really want to have some land some day and have baby farm animals! I'd like to have a goat, a pig, a cow, and a horse. I want babies only though can someone arrange that for me? Ooh and I want a chicken that lays eggs. I did have a baby chick once, actually two of them Henry and Henrietta. Henry would follow me around with that cute little chickie waddle. Enough of that. So these giant boar's, can someone tell me what the purpose of making your animal that fat is? Do they eat them? Do they breed them? Maybe this is me being a stupid city girl but someone help me out here. They just don't look like they could possibly be comfortable. My second question is this, what in the world do you do when that thing decides it doesn't want to pick it's giant butt up and move?





Prior to seeing the animals we went to the tractor pulls. I love that my husband like these things I think it's adorable. He's so funny how he gets excited about a truck pulling a giant trailer down a dirt track. I will have to admit though, this being my first tractor pull and all, that I was quite amused. I do give him a lot of hell for being from Kentucky but it's all in good fun and only because I love him. It's not like I've not had my fair share of country living. I mean we had to pull the groceries up the hill in a sled one winter because the car couldn't get up the hill in Brown County. It was pretty fun, I do enjoy loud trucks and there was even a woman competing so I thought that was neat. He got a real kick out of the Mack truck named the "Killer". To our knowledge it won but we didn't stay until the end.





Next we visited the "He ate WHAT?" exhibit. Here they showed us x-rays of animals that had eaten crazy items and explained how they were removed and what kind of harm they may have done to the animal. No worries though, all the pets in these x-rays lived. My favorite was the Labrador puppy that ate the 9 inch skewer off the grill. This poor guy had half the skewer in his belly and half of it in his esophagus! We saw a kitten with a needle in her belly, lots of coins in the bellies of dogs, and a bottle cap, just to name a few. The vet said that even a full grown dog is like having a toddler because they chew and eat everything. Not all dogs are this way but we do have one. My little guy Oly is way past the chewing phase but Dozer on the other hand would eat a grenade. Daily he comes to the bed in the morning with something in his mouth. Usually it's one of his daddy's socks, a receipt one of the cats has fished out of my purse, or my favorite...something he's dug out of the trash in the bathroom. I'd be curious to see an x-ray of his belly as I'm sure there is more than a few items in there on a daily basis. Luckily for us he's never been ill from anything he's eaten. I do feel somewhat prepared for a toddler though after having this big boy in the house. With his giant tail we can't leave anything on the table that is breakable and anything that is on the floor ends up in his mouth.





Last but not least, let's discuss the food at the fair. It never ceases to amaze me the concoctions that they come up with at the State Fair every year. If you can fry it, consider it done. If you can't fry it, they'll will inevitably find a way. A few things that stand out in my mind being fried Kool-aid (WTH?), fried butter, fried snickers bars, and fried brownies. Those are just a few I saw on the sign. I'll be honest with you for a second I thought....fried brownies, but I stopped myself as I imagined how much gym time that would add up to. Come on people fried butter? Burgers on donuts?? Bleck. Maybe it's delicious but I'm not even going to go there for fear that I may possibly enjoy it. Instead we got the standard lemon-shakeup and some kettle corn. I just can't leave the fair without my lemon-shakeup. There were also some weird meat parfait type things, some sort of meat sundae, and several stands that fried vegetables and fruit. So if you are heading to the fair, have gone already, or have eaten any of these things in the past, feel free to lend me your thoughts. I'm just not brave enough.





http://www.wave3.com/story/15094774/deep-fried-kool-aid-available-at-indiana-state-fair

Oh how I loathe going to the dentist

I had to have some fillings Saturday at the dentist since apparently at some point my teeth decided not to be as great as they've been my whole life. I hardly ever had cavities as a kid. In fact I had only 1 for the longest time with the second being about 2 years ago. Well this last time I went in, let's just say I had a couple. I was so bummed out! Apparently the lemonade and sweet tea have not been good to me. In fact the dentist asked what I liked to drink and I told him I'd been trying to drink tea and lemonade because I wanted to quit having diet sodas. He tells me I was better off with the diet coke. Well that's just great. Needless to say I've been drinking a heck of a lot of water lately.

Anyway, I was absolutely terrified to go to the dentist because J-dawg had gone just a few weeks ago and told me what an AWFUL experience he had. This was in no way a reflection of the dentist we see because he's actually very very good but my hubby had decided to go in on an empty stomach which created problems. Shortly after he received the shot to numb him he decided he was going to toss his cookies. That's the last time he'll ever look at that needle as it's coming at him for sure. He recounted his horrific experience of puking and being put into some horror flick contraption to keep his tongue out of the way. I'm thinking of this seen in the movie SAW .....

Well, turns out it wasn't so bad. No pain in the process and only mild discomfort after the fillings since my jaw was a little tender. I'm no longer afraid of the dentist! I also found it quite humorous that only half of my face smiled for the next hour. In fact I had to take a picture just to remind me to laugh at myself once in awhile.

Jump off the Judgment Train

“People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves." — Albert Camus (The Fall)

"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up." — Jesse Jackson

"So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another." (Romans 14:1-13)

Something was said today that made me heat up a little. I’m usually not very quick to respond to people who make broad statements that are insulting to one or more people but I felt compelled to do it today.

Today I feel really good about my accomplishments. I finally finished my 4 year degree and plan to continue taking classes to prep for Grad school. It took a heck of a lot of work to get there, many hours of studying late into the night, staying in on the weekends when my friends were out having a good time, I even did homework on my honeymoon, that’s how dedicated and crazy I was. Now before I get flack from people, I only did a couple Chem assignments while in Jamaica and let me tell you the connection isn’t great so I didn’t get far. Why didn’t I do it before I left you ask? Well I was sort of busy planning a wedding that’s why. Anyway, that is neither here nor there. The comment that was made was broad and to my knowledge not directed toward me but still, it pissed me off.

I don’t appreciate when one person decides that their efforts warrant more praise than another’s. Who are you to judge and feel so self righteous that you have to put others down. Personally I think it is lame. I’ve since removed this person, because well, I have no backbone. There I said it. To be honest this person is very good with words and although my response to his ignorant post was fully warranted I do believe he could have made me feel like a fool, despite the fact that I’m not. So I just shut up right then and there. I do wish I was one of those people who was fully able to speak my mind and not feel a shred of remorse, but I’m not. It really gets my goat when people feel as though they are better than others. I’ve had my days where I feel like something I did was pretty great and yes sometimes I want to brag about it because I’m proud of myself but I try not to put others down in the process. If you feel I’ve put you down for my own gain then by all means let me know because I need to have a better attitude if that’s the case.

With all that said, this person had made a remark about how easy college was for him. That’s all fine and great for you dude but just because it was easy for you doesn’t mean you have to make others feel like crap. Not all of my classes were hard, nor did I struggle with all of them so this wasn’t something I took personally it just rubbed me the wrong way. I will say that there were some courses that gave me a run for my money and I studied my ass off for them. I didn’t always get a perfect grade but I worked hard and I think my overall college experience has shown that. Yes it took me ages to get through what should have been 4 years of college but if you want to judge me for that then you are just as bad as this guy.

So, what I am getting at here is don’t judge people when you don’t know the extent of their situation and even if you do know their situation, who are you to judge? Am I saying that I am perfect and have never judged a book by its cover or made an assumption about someone based on their actions? No, because I know I have and I’m not proud of it. I’m just saying that maybe, just maybe we should make an effort not to post self righteous, pat-yourself-on-the-back, a$$hole comments on facebook. You are free to say what you want, when you want, wherever you want, as I am doing now, but for the love of all things good can you think before you speak….or post.

My Life on a Spreadsheet

Just a few weeks ago the conversation of how I mapped my life out on a spreadsheet came up. Since people think this is humorous I've decided to share with you all. J-dawg and I have separate ways of entertaining our obsession with rules, numbers, dates, and timelines but we are very similar in how we view them. I for one put everything, right down to my “life-plan”, in a spreadsheet.

Just last semester I was finally able to put a name to our craziness, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. Before you judge, read below, you might just fall into that category as well. You might know these people better as the perfectionists, workaholics, and stubborn (that would be me) individuals in your life.

A pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

1. is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost

2. shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion (e.g., is unable to complete a project because his or her own overly strict standards are not met)

3. is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships (not accounted for by obvious economic necessity)

4. is over conscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values (not accounted for by cultural or religious identification)

5. is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value

6. is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things

7. adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes

8. shows rigidity and stubbornness
(www.brainphysics.com/oc-personality.php)

I bet some of you just went, “oh gosh that describes me”. Yep see told you, I think more people than not have a little OCPD. There are plenty of people in the world that NEED to have it. You know who I am talking about, just take a look around your office. Perhaps you don’t see those people yet because they are never on time.

Getting back to the point, while J-dawg doesn’t share my love for spreadsheets he is very meticulous about his money. I think that man could live on $5 for a month and not go hungry. Me on the other hand, I like a good shopping spree at Kohl’s once in awhile as long as my bills are paid. :)

While I think it’s pretty standard to create a budget in a spreadsheet, I like to take it one step further and list scenarios. For example, right now I have a spreadsheet with our past budget, our current budget, our budget if we were to find a house and not yet have ours sold, our budget with a new mortgage payment after having ours sold, our budget with all extra expenses paid off, our budget if we stay in the house and refinance, our future budget with student loans, and last but not least our budget with a baby in the future. I also have a baby budget savings plan for when that day comes. :) Just as I had the down payment savings plan and the wedding savings plan previously. All in a spreadsheet full of fun formulas that let me manipulate all of my data by changing just one expense. Like I said, I don’t think this is too crazy, I know several people who review their budget on a daily basis and keep it in a spreadsheet.

I’ll even go as far as to say, planning our wedding in a spreadsheet was somewhat normal as well. After all, I did hear that some family/friends of ours did precisely the same thing. You know who you are and I thank you for making me feel “normal”. I had everything in that spreadsheet, our budget, our actual costs, comparisons of venues, decorations, dresses, food, travel, etc. I had every name, address, and RSVP in a spreadsheet as well. This came in handy for thank you cards both for the wedding and for showers. Now I use that same list to send out Christmas cards. Not too crazy right?

Well then I came home to my poor unsuspecting husband with my life-plan spreadsheet. Looking back I probably should have done this a lot sooner, perhaps I wouldn’t still be in school. You live and you learn though right? Included in this life-plan were the dates (by month and year) and our ages at these different points in our lives. I included the dates of both our graduations, followed by when we would begin professional school, the exact month we would become pregnant with our first child (because that’s soooo predictable right?), the date we would have the baby, when we would finish professional school, how old our kid(s) would be, when they would start school, approximately how much money we would be making, and when we would be finished with all of the above. So if you officially think I am a nut case, it’s fair, I can admit it was a little on the “she-might-have-just-lost-her-mind” side. At least that is what J-dawg was thinking. He promptly made me trash the list.

So now I keep my obsessive planning to a minimum with my old school color coded planner (red for bills, green for school, blue for appointments). Each semester I also keep a log of my homework assignments, grades, the grade I need on each assignment to get an A, due dates, times, and final grade. This I might mention has come in handy 3 times when my professors calculated the wrong grade at the end of the semester. I’m that student the professors hate, always questioning their grading.

So looking back, maybe it was a little overboard but that is just the way I am. I like to have a plan for everything. I know things change and plans don’t always go as planned but hey I try. Needless to say the “plan” I ever so painstakingly mapped out for us has already changed since we’ve been married. I’d say for the better. Now I just have a rough draft of the plan in my head. No more life-plan spreadsheets maybe I’ll just try to wing it…..yeah right.

Fireworks....keep them in your own yard please

I love fireworks just as much as the next person but what I don't love is coming home to find them strewn across our driveway, littered all over the cul-de-sac, and resting on top of our vehicles. Everyone has that one neighbor who is not cognisant of the fact that other people live nearby and don't necessarily enjoy picking debris out of their yards. You know the ones. The past 2 years we've come home to a heap of debris in the middle of the cul-de-sac. This year we had a special gift of debris on J-dawg's truck, he was pretty excited to say the least. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have a little fun and light things on fire, I'm a big fan of fire so go for it, but can you clean up after yourselves? Are you 10? I hate to break it to you but mommy isn't coming over any time soon to sweep the street, so maybe you should do it.

All that said, we did enjoy a good hillbilly watching of the fireworks. We got out the lawn chairs, sat in our pajamas, and drank pina coladas while watching other people burn up hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks around the neighborhood at no cost to us. This is the way to do it.

We also got to spend some time with our friends last night. It was quite the event, there was karaoke, unpredictable fireworks that you had to dodge at just the right moment, and kids with sparklers (always entertaining in my book). We had a good time, it was late night but worth it. Pretty good weekend overall, it's a shame that it's over and J-dawg has to go back to his 70 hour work weeks. Hopefully this week they will give him a break.

Court, apparently you don't have to show up

Hungry dog, tried to eat his way through the door. Paint hides anything though right? Wrong!

Dog eats his way through door so the bathroom is the next option. Still hungry he eats just the top layer of the linoleum, picky little thing.

When this all fails he instead tries to eat/dig his way to China. What you are seeing is the concrete slab the house is sitting on.

Yesterday was my first day ever in a court room. I was absolutely panicked, even though I am the Plaintiff in this case I was still nervous. As mentioned previously in another post about public speaking, I am not good at it, will never be, and am usually terrified that I will pee down my leg in fear. Keep in mind I am the one who sued in this case and I am being completely honest in the allegations I have made. I have no reason whatsoever to be nervous, after all they are the ones in the wrong. I dressed up nicely for the event because my mother taught me well. You dress professionally out of respect for the judge. Um, was I the only one that got this memo? Apparently the dress code was flip flops, jeans, and a ratty folder full of crinkled up papers or worse yet, nothing to defend your case. I even had an older gentleman mistake me for an attorney. While it was flattering (the old lady pantyhose must have indicated to him a position of power) I said, "No, just a regular old girl." Now I've been known to change my major a few times, drastically change my career goals, etc. But not once have I EVER had any desire to be a lawyer, never. I'd rather pour pickle juice in my eyes to be quite honest. I'd like to think I'm pretty at good at anything I put my mind to, but let's face it I would suck as a lawyer. I admire anyone who can get in front of a room full of people to argue something and not faint.

Anyway, long story short, I sued my previous tenants for terminating their lease 9 months early, not giving proper notice, non-payment, and a lengthy list of damages to my home. Above, are just a few pics of the damage the dog did. He ate door casings in the master bath/master bedroom, chewed the linoleum in the master bath, tore a giant hole in the carpet, chewed on cabinets in the bathroom, ate the window sill, and tried to scratch his way through the doors in both. Hey but they left the house clean and "let" me keep the security deposit so it's ok right? What makes me the most angry is I tried to negotiate a plan with this family so they could get caught up on other payments, such as their giant flexfuel, fully loaded Durango. I mean I thought I was being MORE than understanding. I was going to take a loss for 4 months until they got their tax check. Then they say oh by the way we are just going to move because so and so said we can live there free for 2 months. Hey "so and so" good freaking luck that is one hungry dog. What's even better, it was family. Word of advice, business and family generally don't mix on that level.

When I sent the accounting statement threatening legal action they agreed to meet us and discuss the payments. Again, I was understanding and agreed. We made an agreement that they would make 2 payments one in April after their taxes were filed and one in June. The best part was when the boyfriend said "we don't do shit like this where I am from, all on paper and shit". Really? Where are you from dude? The land of we just let people take advantage and then scoot out with no repercussions. Well, buddy, where I am from we don't take crap lying down and I am not about to let you walk all over me after you signed a legally binding contract. Period. Too many people get away with these things. I wasn't going to stand for it.

So when they failed to pay I filed and had them served by Sheriff at their doorstep. Like I said, don't mess with me because I don't give in easily. Yesterday was the date set by the court to appear. Am I shocked that they didn't show up? Not at all. The judge filed a default judgement against them and I was free to go. I took a sheet with additional info on how to garnish their wages for repayment. Basically, when they go to get an apartment or house in the future and they are denied they will think of me. And that my friend is satisfaction enough. I didn't do it for the money, I did it to prove two points: A) you are not going to walk all over me B) what part of LEGAL contract don't you understand.

So it went well by my standards I didn't have to present any of my evidence to the court since they didn't show up and I could finally eat again because my nerves had returned to a normal state.

A-

I know it's trivial and stupid but I'm really ticked off that I got an A-. I really feel I deserved an A. What difference does it make you ask? Well an A would get me 12 points towards my GPA and an A- only gets me 11.1 that's the difference! I know it sounds silly but I've been trying to get my GPA up so I can apply to PA school. The higher the better. I have some catching up to do since I had some business courses that didn't go so well due to lack of interest. So my goal was to get an A on every class from here on out including some scary courses like Organic Chemistry I & II, and Physics. I deserved the A but had one of those nit-picky teachers that has to find something wrong with everything. She was tough even on the homework. When I questioned her grading she even bragged about how many As she didn't award and that I should be happy with an A- grade average since most got Bs. It was a stinking freshman level class and she ran it like a drill sergeant. We had DAILY reminders about homeowork that was due in a week. Sometimes multiple daily reminders. Maybe it's just me but I feel at the college level you really shouldn't need someone to remind you to do your homework in highlighted print each day. Just saying.

Coupons

So I picked up this couponing thing in an attempt to be a little better with my money so we can afford Grad school and babies. I've been doing really well at it, got a couple things for free and made everything neat and pretty in my binder. I am not one of those CRAZIES like on TLC. That is hoarding plain and simple. Let's check back with those people in a few years and see how obese they are from all that processed food they are stock piling. I do enjoy a good deal on overpriced razors, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrushes, and headache medication however. I still enjoy a good shopping trip at Aldi before I will buy from Kroger just because I might have a coupon or two. I'll always be an Aldi girl, no brand loyalty here. I'm cheap that's all there is to it.

I will admit though I got into a bad habit of just throwing junk in the cart and then being unpleasantly surprised by the total. Not sure where I learned that habit because my mom sure didn't teach it to me. I think after so many years of pinching pennies after I got my house I just was happy when I was finally able to spend money and not have to count every cent of it or worry about an over-draft. Now I've decided that if we want to spoil kids in the future I should be a little more money conscious. My husband is way ahead of me, he's just about the cheapest person I know but I love that about him. (most of the time)

So back to the coupons, I am so irritated that people feel the need to clear the friggin shelves the day the ad comes out. For example, there was a super great deal on razors last week. They were buy one get one free and I had 2 coupons. At CVS you can use both coupons since you are getting 2 items but what happens is the total of the coupons goes toward one product! So both razors were free! I was so pumped with my two coupons I skipped on in to CVS (no really I skipped I was that excited to get something FREE) and low and behold NO razors. Dude, the ad JUST came out. The sale just started that day. Oh I was so mad. Who needs 20 razors? I keep reading that places like CVS and Walgreens do not carry a ton of stock, understandable but come on, it's the day of the ad and they are gone, I'm willing to bet some nut job who most likely digs through trash cans, solicits their friends and neighbors for coupons, and goes through the recycling bin at recycling center, is to blame. If any of those things describe you, please stop! Buy 2 get your deal and go.

So today I went to Wal-mart to pick up "money-maker" items. I was also very excited about this because I've never attempted this feat. All I wanted was 2 bottles of 10ct Advil and some Dial lotion. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so because they were all gone. This is Wal-Mart we are talking about here so I don't want any excuses of "we just don't stock enough product" bull shit. Someone came and cleared the shelves. Are you telling me someones skin was so dry and flaking off that they needed 20 some bottles of lotion??? Here is the other thing. These people who let their "stock piles" take over their entire house, that's just dumb. Who wants to decorate their master bedroom with a wall full of cereal? And unless you have 10 kids how are you EVER going to eat that much cereal. I saw one episode where a family bought 540 yogurts (all of them had the candy on top so not necessarily healthy). Really? How can you eat that much yogurt before it spoils? On another episode this lady specifically said to her husband "clear the shelf"....of 62 mustards. Then the poor guy says "I don't even like mustard". Not to mention the fact that this show is completely set up. What cashier is their right mind would be happy about your 8 transactions and 100 coupons? All I know is the girls at CVS see that I have 4 and they cringe. One girl got so flustered when the total said -.20 that she voided the transaction 3 times before she figured out my coupons/extra care cash.

So that is my rant for the day, I'll keep couponing because I like to save money and I don't need 40 hours a week to develop a shopping list. I just hope people get bored with it and give it up or realize that maybe it wasn't a good plan to turn the garage/basement/bedrooms into stock pile shelters. I have a closet with a couple shampoos, toothpastes, toothbrushes and deodorant. That's good enough for me.

I just found this article. Thank goodness! It's about time they put an end to the craziness. Limits.

http://financiallyfit.yahoo.com/finance/article-113020-10125-1-how-to-get-the-most-from-coupons?ywaad=ad0035&nc

Well J-dawg is working AGAIN. It's a good darn thing we sleep in the same bed because I'm not sure when I'd see him. Really though we did have a good date night. We ate at Longhorn and came home until the movie started at 10:20pm. Is it sad that I really just wanted to go to sleep? That's a pretty late movie for us. We both were snoozing on the couch when it was time to go see the movie. We made it through though. We saw Hangover II. Let me just say, not at all as good as the first one. It lacked creativity in the story line department. I know it was Hangover II but did they really have to use the EXACT same story line? At least we used my Living Social deal and only paid $9 for two tickets so I don't feel completely robbed. I'm thinking Bad Teacher would have been a better choice.

I really need to be cleaning this house right now. It's pretty much a wreck but I'm not really sure how it gets this way when just one week ago it was spotless in the event that we had a showing while we were away. The laundry room looks like it just threw up clothes and my closet is much the same. One of these dogs stinks, to boot. I HATE a stinky house, but it's inevitable that every once in awhile you'll smell a dog around here.

I need to make a run to Wally World to get some glow sticks for the N.I.T.E. ride tonight. It begins at 11pm and runs almost 18 miles. I usually deck mine out with super tacky glow sticks for fun. It's a shame J-dawg can't come with us but I think he's pretty happy he isn't!

Yay for Date Night

J-dawg asked me out on a date tonight. It's been awhile since we had "date night". We've become such homebodies since we've been married. Not that either of us wasn't like that before. We love staying in with the doggies and watching movies cuddled up in bed but sometimes it's nice to get out once in awhile. It's a toss up between Bad Teacher and The Hangover II. I'd really like to see Bad Teacher personally.

Enough about C-bird-let’s talk about houses

So this blog is supposed to be about the adventures of C-Bird AND J-Dawg so I apologize for my previous self indulgent posts but I’ve always felt I needed to explain my craziness a little. I feel better. Not that you care but I do. Besides you can skip over the parts that you don’t want to read. No one saw you do it.

So J and I have entered into a whirlwind of house hunting, selling, and renting. Last year we started looking at homes that could be “our” home. We both own homes currently that we had before we got married. We rented mine out which turned into a fiasco in itself and we’ve been living in his. The problem isn’t that I think the house is too small for the two of us or that I need fancy upgrades it’s the issue of “HIS” and “HERS”. I’ve always felt that the house was his and not ours. I also would like a little more space eventually for munchkins. So after finding some homes that we really fell in love with we had to get ours on the market. Let’s face it, if you are trying to buy a house you better at least have the other one on the market! In fact in December we put an offer in on a bank owned home in Center Grove. There were so many hoops to jump through because we still had 2 existing mortgages (my house and his) that we ended up retracting our offer and deciding that it wasn’t the right time. I still think about that house…..

So we got ours on the market in April, we got brand new carpet in the whole house which made it feel like new. That’s when I first started thinking…”well if we don’t sell it there are plenty of things we can do around here to spruce it up a little”. We found another home that we fell in love with, it had an amazing cat walk staircase, beautiful cabinets, hard wood floors, and a 2 story living room. Long story short, that one sold too before we could gets our sold. I feel like we are being teased. Twice we’ve had buyers come through that really loved the home. The first couple came during a tornado warning. Picture this, c-bird, j-dawg, Dozer (a giant lab mastiff mix), and Oleander (rat terrier), all hunkered down in the truck across the street watching the sky so that these crazy people could come see our house! We ran in the door just as golf ball sized hail started falling from the sky. The realtor said, “they were ready to make an offer last night but decided to talk it over”. We thought we were in like flin! As it turns out there was another house priced just a teensy bit cheaper that they put an offer in on.

Then another showing, this one listed us as #2 on the list. I don’t know about you but I don’t settle for #2. I mean #2 can represent a lot of things like almost good enough but not quite, just missed it, runner -up, and poop. So that one fell through as well, I guess the other had a bonus room. Big whoopdy doo mr. we have a fantabulous deck. That’s all I’m saying about that.

It’s only been about 3 months but we went awhile without seeing ANY houses that we just loved. Nothing worth the added expense. I was ready to hang it up again. I really am pretty content staying in that house. Then I came across a foreclosure that was an absolute steal! It has most of the things we want for a price that cannot be beat (it must be filled with snakes the price is so good). So we are patiently waiting for our agent to get back with us so we can go take a gander. One of two things will happen, we will see it and understand why it’s listed at $50K below the average for homes like that or we will fall in love with it and be back to the dilemma of getting ours sold!

A rant about school and my peers

Oh the envy.....

I just have to get this one thing off my chest. I just want to say that it's been a hard long road trying to get through school while working. Do I know that others have it worse off than me? Yes, I absolutely do, but nothing sends me off the edge more than a spoiled brat. Everything my husband and I have, we worked for. We worked hard long hours to be where we are today. Both of us were working at very young ages. Things weren't handed to us growing up we WORKED for them. So when I see a student who has 3 classes and hasn't worked a day in their life, complain about how much time they don't have or how little sleep they get...I pretty much want to punch them in the nose. Add to that the fact that they will never have to repay a student loan in their lifetime. Am I a little envious? Yes, I will admit it, the thought of being able to go to school without the worry of getting my bills paid, student loans, working, or trying to schedule classes around my work schedule sounds pretty appealing. I know there are moms and dads out there that work, go to school, AND support a family so I am in no way saying my life is terrible but gosh darnit sometimes it wears me out!

Sometimes I wonder if I'd taken a different route, maybe finished High School at the public school instead of homeschooling and graduated with my class or had parents that handed me everything in life, if I'd be done with school and working happily as a Doctor. Everyone has that "what if I had done things differently" thought at some point in their life. Would I change things though, probably not. I am who I am because of the things I've gone through in my life and so is my husband. I think that makes us much stronger people and smarter in the way that we do things. So just to be clear, I love my life and am happy with my deicisions but sometimes I get annoyed by people who have fantastic lives but can't seem to pull their head out of their butt long enough to see it.

I think I’ve made a decision- 2011 Graduation Year

So, here I was, swimming through a sea of courses saying what the HECK do I want to do with my life. I know I want to graduate and I don’t want to be ordinary. I want to be extraordinary. What can I do that will make me feel extraordinary. I loved my nutrition classes, I enjoyed my psychology classes, and I fell in love with my Anatomy class. That was it, the passion I needed to finish came from that class. My professor was one of the most amazing professors I have ever had. He had a passion for the students unlike any passion I’ve seen before. You could tell he was excited about the material and that in turn made me excited to learn about it. I aced Anatomy and 4 others that semester. Still working full time I took 17 credit hours and got an A in each and every one of those classes. It was the boost I needed to get through.

So I started thinking, what can I do that will make the most sense. So I’ve decided to get my degree in General Studies and hopefully (I say hopefully because babies change everything *wink *wink) pursue my Master’s Degree. We’ll see how that goes, but at least I will have my Bachelors in August. I’ll just let life lead me through the rest, we will see. I’ll keep you posted. I'm pretty unpredictable.

January 2010- Let the studying begin!

I was so excited to take classes I genuinely had an interest in! I only took 11 credit hours the first semester back into science courses but man did it kick my bootie. For one, I really need to learn to get more guidance before I jump into classes. Here is the thing Physiology is BIOL N217 and Anatomy is BIOL N261. So, naturally I assumed Physio came first. As it turns out it’s a VERY bad idea to take Physiology before you’ve taken Anatomy. Where is the do-over card when you need it? I went from international business, studying maybe an hour for a test to studying up to 15 hours a week before a test for Physiology. That doesn’t include class time, lab time, and tutoring 4 hours a week on Sunday. (I know that some people study more than that but it was a huge shock to me coming from hardly ever studying). Hey Carissa, maybe if you’d studied like that for Macro you’d have done well in there too.

Bygones.

Despite the fact that I felt like a total failure after nearly drowning in Physiology I maintained that I wanted to do something in the medical field. This is where the true, change-your-degree-a-hundred-times comes in. First I decided on Clinical Laboratory Science, I thought it would be super cool to look at specimens under a microscope on a daily basis and have literally no patient contact. Then I got scared when I realized I’d have to quit my job for a whole year to finish the program so I re-evaluated. I killed so many trees printing out degree requirements for everything under the sun that had a science base. Sorry environment.

Then I had this bright idea. Pre-Med. Ok so maybe if I’d decided on this YEARS ago it would have been an option. But come on, I’m 27 and would like to have a family someday before my eggs die. I knew that just wasn’t possible if I devoted myself to Med School at this point in my life. Would it have been fantastic? Yes. Other things, life in particular, got in the way. Questions arose, what if I don’t get in, how will I pay for it if I do, how do I pay for anything if I get in I can’t work, what if I can’t hack it, what if I change my mind AGAIN, can I handle the demands of a residency program working 80 hours a week if I want to have a baby????

Ultimately I landed on nursing again. I could finish my first Bachelors degree in ANYTHING and then apply for the accelerated program. I did have several of the pre-requisites finished so it all I had to do was apply when I finished my degree. I looked at 2 schools. The one I wanted to attend would cost an additional $50K for 16 months. Let me just say here, I’m not one of those kids that got lucky with a scholarship because I homeschooled, my parents didn’t have the means to pay my way through school and I missed my chance for that anyway when I moved out at the ripe old age of 18. So you can imagine I have a little school debt looming already. I also didn’t think I would be happy being a nurse. No disrespect to nurses because I have several friends that are AMAZING nurses and love what they do but I just don’t think it was for me. I have my personal reasons and it has nothing to do with the profession itself.

So what to do……

6 Years of School and Counting – 2009

Back to IUPUI I go to finish my Bachelors degree in accounting and finance. I’m pretty excited because I just got accepted into the Kelley School of Business. I’m determined to finish up my degree and power through the next year. The Spring is rocky, Macro-Economics pretty much kicks my ass and leaves me limp and lifeless begging for more pain. Did I also mention I attempted to take business communications and intro to statistics and theory in the same semester. Talk about an ass whooping. Hello red flags, you nearly hit me right in the face yet I just kept on. I didn’t enjoy a single second of any of those classes.

I take it easy that summer and take history of the holocaust, interesting but as it turns out doesn’t transfer over to another degree as a history credit. :(

Fall- I attempt to retake Macro, Stats & Theory, and add International Business, Accounting 202, and Behavior in Organizations. Need I remind you I’m still working full time and carrying 15 credit hours. I can’t take the heat so I get out of the kitchen. I withdraw from 3 of the classes because I’m a sissy.

Around this time (with only a year left to graduate) I decide to hell with business I hate you. I have an ah ha moment where I realize even if I DO get through these courses am I really going to be HAPPY doing jobs that involve this crap daily?? Do I, the high strung, can’t sit still for more than 5 minutes, talks a mile a minute girl, really want to sit at a desk all day every day? The answer was clear to me at that moment. It’s a shame it hadn’t been clear before Micro and Macro Econ sucked the life out of my GPA.

So it's on to life science courses.....

Trailer Park Love

* On a side note, I wanted to google "trailer park love" and find a great image but really I was terrifed of what might pop up in my browser...this is the best I could do :)








2008 - I returned to Ivy Tech to finish my business degree so I’d have SOMETHING to show for all my schooling thus far. When I look back I know that God pointed me in this direction so I could meet my husband. If I’d done nursing there wouldn’t have been a chance in the world for me to meet him.


We joke that we met in the trailer park, in all reality we did. Let me explain. We had a class at the good old community college and rather than hold this particular class in the building someone thought it would be a good plan to conduct the class in one of the trailers outside. Hence, our meeting in a trailer park.

August 2008- Enter, Justin. As I am suffering through my business course, which involved public speaking on many occasions, I meet my then future husband. I think the fact that we both almost peed our pants every time we merely STOOD in front of the class was what brought us together. I was dating someone at the time but Justin and I became good friends during this class, leaning on each other for support. He says he knew he'd met his future wife the minute he laid eyes on me. Towards the end of the semester we started dating after of course I broke it off with my then boyfriend. We had some ups and downs, I had some issues coming out of a 6 year relationship and I'm not afraid to admit it. We got past it and that's what counts right?

I graduated that December with my Associates in Business Administration.

Back Home Again

Now getting back to the whole school thing, I took a couple classes online. Here is the line-up Micro-Economics, Intro to Drama (random!), Philosophy. What the heck was I thinking. I probably should have taken the C- I received in Mirco-Economics as a sign that I wasn’t meant for this sort of thing. Prior to that, I’d been a pretty good student, never less than a B in any class, EVER.

This is the year I also returned from Overland Park Kansas after being there for 8 months and deciding I just couldn’t be away from my family (if there had been a beach I might have stayed…). I was unemployed for the first time since I was 14! It was scary but welcomed all at the same time. It didn’t last long. I went back to Logan’s after a month without a job and pretty much said “hey I need to wait tables again” I started 2 days later. (I’d worked there previously). Meanwhile, I was still searching for another job.

I had another thought about going into nursing since I’d always been fascinated with the medical field. When I looked at the nursing programs I realized that finding an 8-5 job and going to nursing school could not happen at the same time. So I went for the job and continued in business. I started in my current job in July 2007 and have been there since.

A New Beginning in Tornado Alley-2006

http://library.thinkquest.org/03oct/01428/tornado1en.html

To begin the year I took a few business classes and a geology class for shits and giggles I guess. I had a decent job with a Logistics company making more money than I thought possible with no degree (come to find out it wasn’t much at all!) I kept taking the business courses because they “fit” with my 8-5 schedule and I thought I’d never find anything with a flexible schedule for a nursing program. Around this time I also experience my first big corporate let down. My company consolidated, this meant you move to Overland Park Kansas or you don’t have a job. I’d just built a house in 2005 so I was terrified of both being out of a job and/or the possibility of moving out of my house and what the heck to do with it.

I moved.

I took the money and ran. I thought Kansas would be a neat place to find a little more independence. Heck I even thought I might get to see a tornado! So I rented my house out to some good friends and took a leap of faith, just me, the moving truck, and my little dog Oleander. (When I talk about Kansas I like people to picture Oly and I as Dorothy and Toto) I thought it would give me a chance to reflect on some things, experience life outside of the realm of my usual support system and make a new name for myself even. I enjoyed it the first few months. I made new friends, one of which had a link back to my hometown! What a small world we live in. The 60 hour work weeks became too much for me. I switched to a supervisor position on a crazy 6pm-3am shift and just couldn’t do it any longer. I came home. Consolidations/corporate moves can be rough, everything started to fall to pieces so I jumped ship with a couple of my colleagues from my hometown as well.

College…years 2003-2005

College, it’s a shame I didn’t follow my dreams from the get go but I’d like to think God took me on this path so I could meet my husband since I did so in one of my most boring and painful business courses. Here is the break down….

2003- First Year- Nursing at Ivy Tech

Transfer to IUPUI – It appears that at this point I should have sat down with and advisor an made a plan

2004-I’m still taking classes on route to be a nurse

2005- A lot of classes that meant nothing to me like Math (for those of you who know me you know that I despise Math ….funny that I work with numbers now)

2005- Fall – apparently at this point I was on drugs (figuratively speaking) and thought business was a good route for me because I took my first business class. It might have something to do with the fact that I got my first corporate job this year.

Graduating FINALLY

Well I officially have one more class left until I graduate. It’s a bitter sweet feeling considering I consider myself the 8 year Bachelors student. Why did it take so friggin long you ask? Well I have an issue making up my mind. I often joke with my husband that it’s miracle I was able to decide on him (although at the same time it was one of the easiest choices of my life!...awe). Now as a disclaimer I do have a 2 year business degree and a certificate in Clinical Research so I wasn’t just lolly gaggy the ENTIRE time. These decisions seem so easy when you are a kid, boys want to be firefighters, truck drivers, lawyers, and doctors. Girls tend to lean towards teachers, nurses, veterinarians, etc. At a young age I distinctly remember wanting to be a veterinarian. I should have just gone with my gut. But life happened and I changed my mind several times while I was still young. (BC: before college) I covered a pretty wide array of professions, veterinarian, brain surgeon, forensic pathologist, storm chase (thanks Twister), dolphin trainer, marine biologist, and nurse. Just to name a few…..

Cut to High School….to make a long story short I had severe social anxiety and pretty much just didn’t like going to school (I loved learning I just didn’t want to be surrounded by people while doing so). My Junior year I began homeschooling to finish up High School.

That didn’t take long…removing the filter.

Well due to my intense boredom at the moment, I’ve put together a little montage of my college years because well quite frankly I hate being the 8 year bachelor student that people assume will be in school forever (although it’s a pretty good assumption). I know I said I wouldn’t bore you with the details of my life but guess what, it’s my blog, suck it up cupcake. I just want to tell my story so people will get off my back about changing my major so many times. To be honest with you, would I like to change the way I did things, maybe. Am I thankful for the life lessons, the broad array of things I’ve learned through multiple majors, or the fact that I met my husband in a class I may not have taken other wise? YES.

The standard first blog...

Everyone has one, the first blog, the tell all, the make me sound fantastic entry post. I don't really feel like "introducing" myself or my husband at the moment although I will eventually delve into the chaos that is our life. So for now I will just write until I decide if what I am writing is interesting or relevant. You see I've done this a few times, the whole "let's start a blog so I can spew all my feelings into words on the world wide web" thing a few times. All were fails. I started them at different points in my life, determined to write something fantastic, something people would follow, read, wait for my next post. I'm not really going for that this time. I have a feeling this will turn into one of those things our family views to check up on the happenings in our lives. Although I have a gut feeling they won't really check in on us until grandchildren are involved....hence the reason I've decided to go at this again. We hope that very soon babies won't be such an "in the future" type talk. :)